There's nothing more maddening than being horny but still dry.
Vaginas are mysterious things, which I think is what makes them great. But also it can make them super frustrating. If you're turned on with someone you like and you still can't get wet, it's maddening. I spoke with Kristie Overstreet, PhD and clinical sexologist and psychotherapist, and Laurence Orbuch, director of GYN Laparoscopic Associates and the co-director of Gynecologic Robotic Surgery at The Beth Israel Mount Sinai Hospital in New York City, about the reasons your vag is not currently a water slide.
1. Your hormones are wacky. One of the most common reasons for a dry vag is a decrease in estrogen levels during menopause, perimenopause, after childbirth, or during breastfeeding, but cancer treatments like chemotherapy and pelvic radiation can also lead to low estrogen and a decrease in vaginal lubrication. If you've never experienced any of those things though, it's probably not that.
2. You’re not connected with your body during sex. Kristie Overstreet says if you simply go through the motions of sex and don’t enjoy the moment, this could be also factor. “If you are disconnected from your body and the present moment, you aren't allowing your body to fully be aroused. This arousal is what gets the fluids pumping.” To tap into your body more fully, Overstreet recommends practicing mindfulness and breathing exercises to connect with your body and stay in the moment. The more in-tune you are with your body, the more you can relax and allow yourself to be turned on.
3. The medications you're taking have side effects that are drying you out. Allergy and cold medications with antihistamines and even some asthma medications can cause vaginal dryness, so I guess the solution is simple: Never leave your house again and stop having asthma. Easy, right?! But you could try switching to more natural remedies or talk to your doctor about other options.
4. You might be feeling guilty or shameful about sex. Overstreet says if you struggle with feeling guilty or dirty about having sex, this can also keep your body from getting wet. “Whether you have felt this way since you were a child or as an adult, it's important that you work through these. If your mind is telling you that what you’re doing is wrong, your body will listen to it.” Overstreet says it’s important to explore any negative or guilty feelings you have about sex, and work to change your irrational thoughts into rational ones. Try seeing a therapist who specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). “When your thoughts and beliefs about sex are healthy and accepting, your body will respond favorably.”
5. Your partner isn't that great in bed. I know it seems obvious, but it's not you, it's him. Sometimes vaginal dryness is just caused by having a low sex drive or having issues with your sexual partner. If he's not doing what he should be doing, or he is and it's just not working for you, you're not going to be as wet as you would be if you were really attracted to someone who was spinning your clit in circles like a plate on a stick.
6. The soap you're using is messing with you. Some women are allergic to chemicals in soaps, detergents, hygiene products, dyes, and perfumes, which could be on your underwear or towels, and that could cause dryness or irritation, which often go hand in hand. Even some lubes if they're not right for you can cause dryness, so try switching to natural detergents or a different, more natural lube.
7. You're way too stressed out. It's really hard for women to get turned on when they're stressed out and not focusing on the sexy thing at hand. And if you're too distracted to get turned on, your vagina's not going to get turned on and lubed either. So basically take a nap, have some pizza, and watch Magic Mike. Ideally, you'll be fine.
Of course, if it is severe and persistent, check in with your gynecologist to make sure it's nothing serious. And then if it's not, that Magic Mike thing though. For real.
you can see this article in: http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a39585/reasons-youre-not-getting-wet/